OUT OF DARKNESS 57
margadirube:

umla:(via Driftwood….lekker sfeertje!!!! | natural beauty … | Pinterest)
darksilenceinsuburbia:

John Constable
Seascape: Study with Rain Cloud
c.1824

darksilenceinsuburbia:

John Constable

Seascape: Study with Rain Cloud

c.1824

no matter what i have said he has not gotten back to me….last phone call i got from him was Mother’s Day 2013….the last call he and i had together was my GrandSon’s second Birthday she (my “sister”) heard that call…he is going to be 4 this year! 4???????? how do i get my Son to talk to me!!!???

i think i  stopped trusting her on Sept 14th when she stood on her porch and asked me not once,not two times but three times what was wrong…each and every time i was very upset…she hated anybody being upset/angry around her….”to abusive” to her….this was in front of the Man I Love and his Kids…thought i have had…did she did that for them?????????? i hate being angry…and she knew that….THREE TIMES~~ He said something and she stopped~

DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE WITH ALL THIS BUT I AM SICK AND TIRED OF CARRYING IT…HOW DO I HELP MY SON TALK TO ME!??????  WHAT DO I DO WITH THE IFSSSSSSSSSS AROUND HER??????????????  THERE’S A PRAYER..ITS ONE THAT IF A PERSON HAS A RESENTMENT TOWARDS SOMEBODY..THEY ARE TO PRAY FOR THAT PERSON DAILY FOR TWO WEEKS(MUCH MORE THEN TWO WEEKS LET ME TELL YOU) AND ASK FOR WHAT YOU’D WANT FOR THAT PERSON!

my friend and i have not talked since the week after i moved(moved Oct 17th….)

i ran into my doctor in town in March…..i did not know who he was at first….he  looked at me and said “You are still here!” really surprised….i said “Yes i am”  he pauses,looks at me and says “But You called and said You moved to Texas!!” i was shocked…i said “no not me…You have me mixed up with somebody else” he again pauses,looks at me and says “No it’s You” i pause,look at him and say “You are my Doctor” and he says he is! i said “I don’t know about all this but it is surprising that of all states i moved to was Texas” i was going to tell him about my Son’s dad and i and Texas but i stopped myself…..

i held on tight that he did have me mistaken for somebody else….(if i had told him about my Son’s dad and i  i would of remembered that i’d told her about thinking about moving to Texas when i was looking for a place!) I HELD ON TIGHT!!! til my appointment with him in May! he did not have me mistaken for somebody else…..i don’t know how to deal with all this! if she’d call my doc’s office up?????

a couple weeks after seeing the doc….i called my Son first call in forever…. i cried on his voice mail…asked if he could help me till i could get a lot more food in my house! he did not get back to me…i texted him the next day thinking he may need more info…still NOTHING!!! i feel like i am getting real wordy here and i hate how i am feeling….i don’t want to think that she would/could be a reason he and i are not talking….feeling really lost!!!! WHY????????????  she reminded me before i moved like i needed to be reminded that my Daughter-in-law bought into all that her father-in-law said about me….i have remembered also since that when i got back from treatment back in March 2013 that she said “I hope it is nothing i said. i hope it’s nothing i said to him to cause him not to call you…..” he did not call me at all when i was in treatment…not once!!!! see i could not call and tell him once again that i was going into treatment…..i was feeling really tiny…she said how about if she called him? she felt it was really important that he knew i was going in…i gave my Sister his phone #…i need to stop!

was listening to some of my music when i signed line…and as i sign on here this one comes on!

helycharlotte:

By Alla Alborova

helycharlotte:

By Alla Alborova

Most of us are not raised to actively encounter our destiny. We may not know that we have one. As children, we are seldom told we have a place in life that is uniquely ours alone. Instead, we are encouraged to believe that our life should somehow fulfill the expectations of others, that we will (or should) find our satisfactions as they have found theirs. Rather than being taugh to ask ourselves who we are, we are schooled to ask others. We are, in effect, trained to listen to others’ versions of ourselves. We are brought up in our life as told to us by someone else! When we survey our lives, seeking to fulfill our creativity, we often see we had a dream that went glimmering because we believed, and those around us believed, that the dream was beyond our reach. Many of us would have been, or at least might have been, done, tried something, if…If we had known who we really were.
Julia Cameron  (via thestylishgypsy)
I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ME! AND ALL THAT MEANS (see # )OTHERS CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME! NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY MAY TRY! HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT OF WHAT CAN’T BE STOLEN FROM ME FOR MONTHS NOW~
# OTHERS CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ME! AND ALL THAT MEANS (see # )OTHERS CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME! NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY MAY TRY! HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT OF WHAT CAN’T BE STOLEN FROM ME FOR MONTHS NOW~

# OTHERS CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!

brazenbvll:

Wild Fox : (©) 
ollidressler:

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